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July 9, 2017

We “go through” in marriage. Can we freely and unashamedly admit that? I go through in my marriage, and you go through in yours. Maybe, hopefully, it's not the same triggers setting us off course (that *used to set our feelings and anger ablaze in the early stages of our unions), but we go through nonetheless.


What does "go through" even mean? It means:

  • to undergo or endure a painful or difficult period or experience

  • to withstand

  • to brave

  • to tolerate

  • to cope

  • to put up with

It also means:

  • to search for

  • look through

  • rummage

  • examine, study, and scrutinize

  • look over, review, and analyze


Some of us go through the temptations of wanting an outside, opposite sex – and/or in some cases, THE SAME sex. (Uh oh! Did I say that out loud?)


Some of us just want out of the marriage (period) because we’re “just not on the same page anymore”; and one doesn’t want to slow down, and the other doesn’t want to step it up.


Some of us go through the very rocky terrain of financial disagreement, pre-conceived child-rearing designs, and even varying issues with in-laws.


Some of us go through in our marriages simply because of our faith in God. And I’m not talking about the unequally-yoked faith; where one is a believer in God and the other is not, type of faith issue. I’m talking about the tension and the very real struggle that occurs when both spouses are believers in God. Yep! I said it. I’m talking about the frustration that mounts when one spouse receives and believes something of the Spirit, but the other spouse cannot (yet) see, doesn’t want to see, and ain’t in no way, shape or form LOOKING FORWARD TO SEEing it!


What do you do when you’re going through these VERY CHALLENGING, eerily haunting, and silently suffocating seasons in your marriage? WHAT? DO? YOU? DO?




You go on through this complicated course and you go right back to the basics. John 10:39-40 captures how Jesus traversed right on through the confrontation, and went back to the first baptismal place and remained there. And, so you go to your beginning, to Genesis 1-2 and you ask God for a renewing and a better understanding of the authority, call, and jurisdiction that He gave to you, as an individual; during the time when your spouse wasn’t (yet) around (Genesis 1:26, Genesis 2:8, 18, 20, 22).


You go on through - all of the animosity, frustration, and hate - right back to Love. Your love. Your First Love. What floats your boat in God? What “song gets you on the dance floor” of the Spirit? What did you FIRST realized you enjoyed about God? Praising? Reading the Word? Helping people in practical ways? Just talking about Him to others? For me, one of my first loves was praying; just knowing that He hears me, delights in hearing me, and moves when He hears me is freeing.


And so you go through. You go right on through the heat to the basics, and you go back to your First Love. What I’m finding is that they’re one in the same (John 10:30). You go on through until you find your groove again; until you find your two-step. Until you catch the wind beneath your sails. And you soar. And you smile. And you stare up and out. The scripture calls this “gazing upon His beauty”. And the really beautiful part is that you don’t have to change your name to Stella (be like somebody else) to win.



And as you go on through remember that you’re not alone. Ishshah Ministries is a community of women/wives who understands, empathizes and cares, and uses their experience, knowledge of and faith in the Lord Jesus and His Word to help you. We pray, suggest, counsel, and reach back. Because we understand, and because we too have promised to GO ON THROUGH; till death do us part.

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